Ah, I am sure many people have been there before, be it sooner or later. The “No luck in love” state. For me, it true. I know how to love, I think, but when it comes down to it, will I really know what love is, or is it just an imitation of love, which later turns into a like or something much more scary. Still, it’s a tricky subject. Everywhere, around the world, is different in love. Some are the strong silent type, others are the bashful, others are the “I’ll say it cause its true” type, different ways to even express it. Then there are those of unrequited loved, which can be either helpful or hurtful. The unrequited love, I think is the most scariest of all. It can turn ugly, where once was a far away love, to an extreme bitter hate. Sometimes that hate can last a life time, with that person never finding that one true love, for them alone, because they are to into themselves to even see it. For anyone that has that, I am sorry to hear.
For me, I’m just a fool to love. I dream of it, but I don’t know what I would do if I had it. I mean, I would love that person, but since I have never really been in love, I don’t know how it would work out. Still being 23, never been kissed and still a virgin, its really a confusing time. I have been on date, but nothing grew out of that, why? Cause people set me up on them. Why the feel the need to, I have no idea. They pick people whom they “think” I will like. I just wish they would let me pick whom I want and leave me be, but for right now, I don’t want anyone. Just there are times, that I wish I could have a love of my own, even if for a short while. Keep dreaming I guess, till I find that person.
Now, I know there have been people whom have liked me, would love to date me, but for me to date them, would be out of the question. Why? Cause I don’t know them like I did before, and they don’t even know me, since many years have passed. I’d like being friends with them more and if it was to become something more, they would have to achieve two goals. 1 have an education, 2 have a job. Other then that, that is all I ask for. Is that to much to ask. Well there is also the basic, as long as he don’t hit woman type too, he just has to learn some woman fight back. Which I do and have kicked many man’s ass’s in my life time. But back to the people whom have liked me, I did like one. Well we both liked each other. The only thing was neither of us had the guts to ask one another out. Sure we went to Prom together, but after that nothing. Then a few months later, he asked one of my friends out. This hurt me, but I got over it. They dated for a year, before they broke up. Then that guy wanted to know if I was single, I was, but I told him I had a boyfriend, why? Cause I didn’t like him that way anymore. (Also, I could not get the thought of him and my ex-friend out of my mind, knowing that they slept together. I have nothing against it, a guy can have sex if he wants, a girl too, its just “WHY” her? I just told him to have an STD test, from a friend to friend way. The ex-friend later ended up pregnant on some one nightstand. I would later dump this friend due to personal reasons. She wanted to try out woman, thinking I would like to try with her. Um, NO and HELL NO with her. If I was that way, I would go for some hotter chick. I want some standards at least. LOL) But that guy and I are friends, every once in a while we talk. There is also another guy, which he is cute, but would never happen. Why, he’s a male whore. AHAHAHAHA, Love you man, like a brother and nothing more!
Right now, there is someone I like. Just like. I don’t dare tell him. I’m afraid if I do, I might scare him away. So for now, I like just being friends. Still, at times, my heart beats a little fast. I think that is why I’m a fool in love, I am not brave enough to tell that person, that “I like you!”. For those whom are, I think are the bravest people in the world and I wish the utmost happiness of all. I know one day, I will find love, but I don’t mind waiting for him to show up.
So for those broken hearts out there, those unrequited loves or those love birds whom have found each other, move on with everyday, taking it as it is. Be happy for those whom have love and wish one day, that you will have it too, if you already don’t. If that person whom you love, loves someone else, be happy for them, just don’t let it grow into a bitter hate. Also, if love is also different, be happy for them, because it will be a hard road. Be it heterosexual or homosexual. Be it by different religion or races or even age. Everyone has the right to love someone, no one has the right to say not to. Everyone has the right to be happy? Don’t you think?